Religious trauma therapy
Online therapy for women untangling what religion taught them about who they're supposed to be—whether they've stayed, left or aren't sure yet.
Maybe religion was once the center of everything: your community, your family traditions, your sense of right & wrong, your picture of the future. And somewhere along the way, the questions got louder. Something didn't sit right, didn't add up or started to hurt more than it helped.
Maybe you've already left & you're surprised by how much of it still lives in you. You still feel guilty about things you no longer believe are wrong. You brace yourself before family gatherings, grieve a community you can't go back to or wonder why rest, pleasure or saying no still feels a little like sinning. Or maybe you're still in it & quietly trying to figure out what you actually believe.
Whatever you decide is best for you (staying in a religion, finding a new one, leaving or something else entirely) is what's best for you. Therapy for religious trauma isn't about getting you to land anywhere in particular. It's about helping you find your own voice again & learn that you're allowed to trust it.
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Learning to check in with yourself before checking the rules.
Meeting the parts of you that were called “wrong” with care.
Making room for all of you, not just the parts that were approved of.
Religious trauma is about more than beliefs
Religious trauma can occur when someone experiences harm, fear, shame, control, abuse or a loss of safety within a religious or spiritual context. It isn't only about doctrine. It can show up as anxiety, depression, chronic guilt, struggles with self-worth, difficulty trusting others (or yourself) or a nervous system that still braces around certain words, spaces or people. Beliefs that once brought comfort & connection can become triggers for fear & shame. Trust in leaders or institutions may break, sometimes costing you your community, too. Sometimes it's connected to obvious harm; other times it's the slow build-up of messages about worthiness & obedience. The difference isn't how dramatic your story is. It's how much it's still shaping the way you live.
Religion as belonging (& protection)
Religious patterns usually make more sense when we understand what they helped you hold onto. Maybe following the rules kept you close to your family. Maybe being faithful, obedient or "worthy" made you feel safe, loved or secure about the future. Maybe questioning felt like it could cost you everything. Your brain notices what works. If belief, obedience or self-silencing helped you stay connected, those patterns can stick around long after your beliefs change. Religious trauma often overlaps with people-pleasing, anxiety, attachment wounds or relational trauma. Instead of asking only "why can't I just move on?" we can also ask: "what did I have to give up in order to belong?"
Faith transitions ≠ losing yourself
A faith transition is a shift in your beliefs, values or spiritual practices, and it's rarely tidy. It can come with seasons of doubt, questioning & uncertainty, plus one really scary question: "if I'm not this anymore, who am I?" When religion shaped your whole identity, it can feel like everything has shattered into pieces. I'm here to pick up those pieces with you: to examine which ones have hurt you & put back together the ones you still see value in keeping. Some people leave religion entirely. Some find a new tradition. Some stay & relate to it differently. Some are still figuring it out. A faith transition can be painful, and it can also lead somewhere that feels deeply your own.
Religious trauma in relationships
Religion rarely exists separately from relationships. Your family may still be deeply involved. Your closest friendships may have formed at church. Your marriage may have been built on a shared faith that one of you no longer shares. You might feel like the one who "made things complicated," worry about disappointing people you love or find yourself shrinking at family gatherings to keep the peace. In therapy, we can work on holding your truth & your relationships at the same time: talking about your changing beliefs, setting boundaries around conversations you don't want to have, navigating mixed-faith relationships & grieving the ones that change—without abandoning yourself to keep them.
When your worth gets tied to being "worthy"
Many high-control religions teach, directly or indirectly, that your worth is something you prove through obedience, purity, service or belief. Over time, being "good" can stop feeling like a value & start feeling like a requirement for being loved. Shame can become the voice that keeps you in line, even after you no longer believe the rules it's enforcing. Therapy can help separate "I did something my religion told me was wrong" from "I am bad." You can make choices your family doesn't agree with & still be a good person. Have doubts & still be loving. Rest, feel pleasure or want things & still be worthy of connection. Your worth was never something you had to earn.
From outside authority to self-trust
For a lot of people, religion provided an outside source of authority: leaders, scripture, doctrine or community norms that told you what was right. Questioning or leaving that structure can create a lot of freedom—and a lot of uncertainty. The alternative isn't never trusting anyone else or needing to have everything figured out. It's self-trust. Together, we'll work on cultivating your self-safety, building your self-trust & reclaiming your self-authority. Instead of asking "what am I supposed to do?" you get to ask, "what do I believe, what do I need & what feels true to me?" The goal isn't to replace one rulebook with another. It's getting to be the authority on your own life.
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Therapy isn't about telling you what to believe.
You probably already know, logically, that you're allowed to make your own choices about faith. Knowing that intellectually & actually quieting the guilt, fear or shame that shows up when you make them are two very different things.
I grew up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I served a mission in New York City, graduated from Brigham Young University & worked for LDS Charities. I know the comfort of having a therapist who shares parts of your background, someone you don't have to explain the culture to or stop to define words like "wards" or "general conference." If that’s your background too, you can learn more about my LDS faith transition therapy. And if you come from a different faith background, I'm just as curious about your experience. High-control religion tends to leave similar fingerprints, even when the details are different.
I also know how important it is to have a space that's entirely your own. Religious institutions can keep us from the very self-trust we need to live a life we've chosen for ourselves, so therapy with me centers your exploration & your own validation. I will never encourage you to make a decision about your membership in a religion, and I will never tell you what to do. I'll help you learn to listen to your gut, settle into what feels authentic to you & claim your own authority over your life.
Because I'm relational, engaged & collaborative in sessions, we can work with religious trauma as it actually shows up in your life. We might unpack the guilt that shows up when you skip something you used to never miss, prepare for a holiday with family, notice where an old belief is still quietly making decisions for you or grieve the future you thought you'd have. When it fits, we can also incorporate EMDR to help process experiences that still feel stuck.
We'll pay attention to what happens in the therapy relationship, too. If you're used to looking to authority figures for the right answer, you might notice yourself waiting for me to tell you what to do (I won't!) or worrying about what I'll think of your choices. Those moments aren't you doing therapy wrong. They can actually give us really useful information about the patterns we're trying to understand.
The goal isn't to take away anything that still feels meaningful to you—or turn you into someone who rejects everything you were raised with. It's to help you make sense of what happened to you so that you get to decide what you want to do about it: what stays, what goes & who you want to become.
Questions about religious trauma therapy
quick answers before you reach out
What is religious trauma?
Religious trauma describes the lasting impact of harmful religious experiences or environments, like fear-based teachings, shame, control or losing your community after questioning. It isn't a formal diagnosis, but it can show up as anxiety, guilt, people-pleasing, perfectionism or a hard time trusting yourself.
Do I have to leave my religion to work with you?
No! Whether you're questioning, deconstructing, leaving, staying or not sure yet, I don't have an agenda about where you land. We'll focus on untangling the shame & fear so the choices you make feel like YOURS.
Do you work with people leaving the LDS church?
Yes. I grew up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints & went through my own faith transition, so you won't have to explain the culture, the language or why disappointing your family can feel so big. I also work with people from other high-demand religions. You can learn more about my LDS faith transition therapy.
Can EMDR help with religious trauma?
It can! EMDR can help your brain process memories & beliefs that still carry a lot of fear or shame, like “I'm bad” or “I'll be punished.” I'm trained in EMDR & use it when it fits what we're working on, online for women in Alaska, Arizona, Texas, Utah & Washington.
How do I get started?
Fill out my Therapy Interest Form & I'll reach out within two business days about a free 15-minute consultation, so we can see if we're a good fit. Sessions are $175 for 50 minutes. I don't take insurance, but I can provide superbills you may be able to submit for out-of-network reimbursement.
You're allowed to find out who you are now.
You don't have to have your beliefs sorted out, your family relationships repaired or your whole story ready to tell before you start therapy.
We can start smaller: understanding how religion shaped you & practicing what it feels like to listen to your own voice again.
If you're looking for online therapy for religious trauma or a faith transition in Alaska, Arizona, Texas, Utah or Washington, fill out my Therapy Interest Form. I'll reach out about scheduling a free 15-minute consultation so we can meet, talk about what you're looking for & see if we might be a good fit.
Resources worth exploring
A few books, conversations & reads that people often find helpful when they're working through this. Not every one will fit you, so take what's useful & leave the rest.